_balancing act_

all my life i walked a tightrope
tried to balance exuberance with decorum
to look a certain way
to act a certain way
to be who and what other people wanted me to be
and it broke me
i hated myself both for
who i was and for who i was trying to be

now with my feet on the ground
i am learning to balance instead
who i want to be with who i am
and learning to love the me that is